Agapé Is Not Easy...
Day 6: If we can't handle the "little stuff," what makes us think we can handle the world?
That’s a big question at the top. We want to make the world better, but what if we can’t make each human interaction full of mercy and understanding?
We will have days when actions of loving kindness and compassion are far from our thoughts. Over the years I’ve worked to practice agapé; I’ve tried to control my snark and outright rudeness when confronted with situations that should not have happened…especially to me. I want to interact with people on a compassionate level. I want to succeed at this task, but I have reminders sneak up on me all the time.
Invariably these rude and unpleasant situations involve large, unfeeling corporations, especially in the telecom field. The first irritation is not easily finding a way through a corporate website to locate customer service. When (and if) you do find a link, there is a Bot who presents a series of prompts to “help.”
Invariably, none of these suggestions will solve your problem. If you choose one that you think might be a possible lead to a winding-around-the-road solution, and are asked by the Bot for your telephone number, you are told the number doesn’t exist. This is after you have already checked “disconnected number.”
Your blood pressure begins the climb to unhealthy, and you are still searching for a way to talk to a person. I do understand that companies want to expedite assistance for a myriad of common problems, and hence the elaborate menus for assistance. But we have the word “exception” for a reason. A computerized system can’t do everything. Sometimes a human voice soothes the anxiety and solves the problem.
I did finally reach a human.
Invariably, this person isn’t the one to solve your problem, so you are politely asked if you mind being put on hold for a transfer to another department that can solve your problem.
You go through everything again, including that you received a bill for the last amount owed on the account, dated January 26. The bill is due February 14, (it’s now January 31) and you received two garbled voice mails and an email that said you were headed to collections.
Invariably, this person doesn’t understand why that happened — “It shouldn’t have happened. I don’t know why…” and just like that you’re on hold for another person.
This new person understands the issue, doesn’t understand why it happened, and oh, did I want to pay my bill now?
“Isn’t that what I just said to you?”
“I have to have you confirm it for the record.”
Through my mind…”Your conversation may be recorded for quality assurance and training.”
“Yes, I want to pay my bill.”
“What form of payment will you use?”
Invariably, there is a hitch.
“You have my payment method on account so I could remit the final balance.”
“Oh, we don’t save those because the accounts are disconnected.”
“Please check.” (I did say “please.”)
“Does your account end in 0000?”
“Why yes, yes it does.”
“Do you want to use this card?”
“Why yes, yes I do.” (Remind self to check blood pressure….)
At this point I do receive an email and I thank him for his help. The “thank you” came with a few qualifications….
“I know this is your job and you cannot help what the big corporation is doing to create difficulty for customers. I appreciate your help tonight, and I hope you have a chance to give input on how systems need to change. Thank you again.”
There is a world of computerization that is overtaking our lives. I have reached the point at my age where I limit electronics, computers, fancy gadgets, and the like. I will not let Alexa into my life, and Siri is on permanent mute. I want to continue actual human contact, because we need that — our souls want personal. We need to smile, say hello, say thank you, ask people if they need help at that moment. Otherwise, we are running out of actual moments of contact.
Are there big corporations who understand the principles of excellent customer service beside what is written on their website?
Oh, that’s right…there’s nothing on the website. I guess they can’t hear me now.
Ego, absolutely. I love that last sentence and don’t want to delete it. It’s replete with snarkiness. But it does nothing to move the practice of compassion along life’s little bumps. So it becomes my lesson, after a careful review of the events and the writing.
I include this post-script as a way of processing my actual practice of kindness. Perhaps that is what we are missing in our lives as we interact with others and try to understand motivations. When we sense something goes wrong, regardless of fault (and especially if we admit to the fault), then we should spend time thinking about the event and resulting actions and reactions. Even if it only means a change in our own perspective, the ripple will spread each time we are confronted with something we can possibly change.
We have the wisdom and experience to do this.
If this resonates with you, please leave a comment about a circumstance you re-evaluated and share the lesson. We Crones support each other.
I see such interactions with the insanity of our world as the inevitable bumps on the road.
The road to where I'm headed is still there.